Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Say YES!



Oh, last night went so much better than Saturday.

Brian and I arrived about 30 minutes before my appointment and wander the racks. I let him pick out two dresses for me to try on. He was desperate to stay to see me try one on but I put my foot down.

My consultant was great. She took her time to listen to me, Brian and Jenn. She also looked at the pictures of me trying on dresses from Saturday and it felt like she immediately picked up on what I was looking for.

The first dress she pulled for me to try on was it! I feel in love with it right away. Which was a completely different feeling than when I tried on at David's Bridal. The sample size fit me perfectly. The dress was out of my price range, but the consultant felt confident that she had wiggle room with the price. After seeing how well it fit and how much I liked it she came up with an idea. The sample was nearly brand new, the dress is from a new 2013 collection. She knocked 34% off the price if I'd take the sample.

She had pulled about 6 others, and with the two that Brian picked, I tried on the others. I did like them. Really liked an off the shoulder tight dress. But didn't love any like I did the first one. By now Katerina and Aly had joined Jenn and I and I put the dress back on. Every one else liked it. The consultant lead me to the big mirror in the front of the store, and left me there for a second while she went to grab a flower for my hair. While I stood there by myself staring at the dress, I knew. Happy tears. I'm actually starting to cry a little as I type this. This was the dress.

So on budget, I have my dress. It's at home in my closet.

Recommendations:
1. Go shopping when you're comfortable. If you're not in the mood, you won't find the dress.
2. Pick a less crowded/busy time of day. Middle of the day on a Saturday felt very different from after work on a Monday.
3. Talk a lot about what you want the day to be with a lot of different people. I love all my bridesmaids, and they all know me well. Getting each of their perspectives individually helped make me feel confident in what I eventually went with.
4. Know you're beautiful. I look at the pictures from that first shopping trip and I see someone very unhappy and unsure of themselves. Even in the dresses that we're perfect yesterday, I didn't see that person.
5. The second I picked my dress I wanted to text Brian how much I loved him. That's how I knew. The dress should make you feel good, but with me, it also reminded me of my fiance and my love for him.

Monday, February 18, 2013

dresses, dresses and more dresses

First off, we have a photographer! Emily, a friend of Jenn's who I have known for years takes great pictures.  She's graciously said yes to being our photographer so long as we feed her that day :)
Our current photo plan is to have Emily take all the pictures, but then also ask select family members with good cameras and good eyes to help capture specific times. Like one cousin will do getting ready, one the ceremony, one reception, etc. That way we won't be too taxing on our relatives and we'll also get a lot of photos!

Went dress shopping with Jenn, Katerina and Aly on Saturday. I was in a mood to begin with. Brian was out all night, helping celebrate his brother Trevor's last weekend in Cincinnati and I was feeling lonely having no member of my family coming to help me try on dresses or even helping in the prep. I tried on about 7-8 dresses and just wasn't feeling any of them. I think a lot of it was me. Having trouble really embracing this whole bride thing.

It's not that I don't think we're getting married or that I question our decision to. I just have trouble sometimes believing that good things happen. That this is my real life. I also do not relish being the center of attention. When I get a hair cut, I don't like it when people notice. The attention makes me uncomfortable. I also don't feel the most beautiful right now. We'll truthfully, I never thought I was all that pretty. I have a big nose, and weird teeth and I squint funny. And, although I have lost about 3 pounds in the last two weeks, I'm no where near a comfortable weight. Looking back though even when I was 20 pounds lighter, my body still made me cringe...

And then the dresses, they just weren't me. They were pretty, but not right. And I got overwhelmed very easily. So I made an appointment at a different Bridal Salon for tonight after work. Thankfully, all of my in town bridesmaids are able to make it - which I totally didn't expect. Brian also has off today, so him and I are going to meet there a couple minutes before my appointment so that he can walk through the racks with me and pick some out for me to try on.

Also today, I was able to share all the pictures of the dresses I tried on (David's Bridal lets you take pictures which is totally nice) with Katie. And I pulled a LOT more from online and got some really good feedback from her. Was like I was able to walk through racks with her just online.

I also had Nancy from InRETURN, where I work, make a couple mock ups of Save the Dates. She's going to do more tomorrow but hopefully we'll have those out soon.

Brian and I also sat down and worked out a tentative guest list. our ballpark of 100 was pretty spot on.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Green living

We're making progress.

Met with two of my bridesmaids on Tuesday and spent Wednesday recruiting another one and scouting our location.

Alexandra - Brian's brother Ian's fiance. Follow that one....Besides graciously allowing us to get married at her house and offering up nearly everything in the book, she's also taken on the task of being one of my bridesmaids. She's one of the sweetest people I know. When I think of her, I think of home, I think of Milwaukee friendships and fun. I think of family. One of the things about getting older, settling down, is growing your family in ways you never thought about before. You don't just join your significant other's family, you join that family's friend's family. I love Aly's parents, and her friend Kelly. I love her neighbor, who happened to stop by while we were scouting the place last night and offered to help us clean it out and get ready for the wedding. I love her grandma. I love that she's my partner in crime.

So location. I was not using my brain and totally didn't even think to take pictures. But I'm in love with the location. If I could have had an unlimited budget, I still would have picked something like this. On the property there is a big office building. It has concrete floors, great for dancing, and for keeping cool in the summer. Wood beams and posts that provide some great atmosphere and design.

I met with Jenn and Katerina on Tuesday. Jenn has the hook ups. She got our mutual friend to agree to do our pictures - for free. We're also having family members take some pictures - we're blessed to have some very talented friends and family members. But I didn't want a cousin or aunt to be stuck behind the camera all night long. Current plan is friend, Emily is taking all pictures. Then additionally will assign one part of the day - getting ready, ceremony, reception, guests, etc - to a family member. I love that people who know Brian and I will be helping us capture the day.

Jenn also has liquor connections, catering connections, hair and DJ connections. Networking on a budget is key!!!

Katerina is going to make my wedding binder, as I'm woefully behind on planning things.

My sister has currently decided to not be one of my bridesmaids. The decision was very difficult on me, but I understand her and love her and can't wait to have her here for the wedding.

Things I need to start working on:  - dresses! food. I've thought about grilling part of the food and then catering some other parts. Need to work on pricing that out. SAVE THE DATES and guest list. definitely need to get going on this so that we can appropriately price out things for food and chairs, etc.

Monday, January 14, 2013

TWO IN ONE DAY!

Figured this would be a good place to keep this running list:

Random things I'm thinking about:

- I don't think I want my bridesmaids to have matching dresses. I don't know if this means same style/cut in different shades or same shade different dress or complete miss-mash, but I want something....  yes. something...

- I want everyone to pitch in. I have a hard time saying this without being all "hey, you wanna do everything for me??" but I do want it. I really want the day to be more about family and friends coming together than I want it to be about me. I want everyone to have a hand in it. I want food made by friends and family. Friends taking pictures, someone we know to marry us, friends to make the decorations.

- I will eat cheese on my wedding day.

- I want to walk down the aisle by myself

- I want cupcakes and not cake.

- I don't want a veil.

procrastination always and forever

Here's a shocker: Brian and I suck at planning.

Like I said in my first entry, how many moons ago, we have a great idea and then sit on it. No surprise that happened again.

But as our wedding nears closer, action needs to start happening... Shortly after writing my last entry, I decided on my wedding party. Things like where I was getting married, or what it would look like are dramatically less important to me than who will be standing next to me.

The Matron of Honor: Katie/Katey 

Her given name is Katie, but one night at a bar we changed it to Katey. And continuing to spell it that way is just something that we would do.  She my sister from another mother, and I also really like her mother. We haven't lived in the same city for a really long time, but she's probably the only person - besides Brian - who really gets me. Who I can be ugly and make inappropriate jokes with and still feel glamorous, who remembers little details just like I do, who loves inside jokes. We were best friends through high school, broke up in college (And yes broke up. There were dear John emails involved.) We reconnected when we were both newly single in Milwaukee together. Thinking back on all our adventures now, I laugh. We were a riot. But mostly we got each other through. She's smart and principled. She used to call me J. The reason I decided to give SB a try is because he called me J. He reminded me of my best friend.

Bridesmaids:
Katerina - Brian's sister. In a family full of boys who spend the majority of their time quoting movies, Katerina was a breath of fresh air. One of the things that made me fall in love even more with Brian is his family. They love each other. They love the good, the bad, the funny, the crazy. Brian's brothers are nice, but they're boys. A lot of fun, but no one I could really connect with. Katerina lived in Florida, so when Brian and I first started dating I didn't get to see her and her family a lot. They recently moved up to Cincinnati and having them close by is great. More than anything I want my family to grow. When you meet Brian's family, they don't treat you like a guest, or a friend of someone they know. You're immediately family. When Katerina first talked about moving here, I might have been the most excited. I wasn't just gaining a future sister, I was gaining a friend.

Jennifer - Plain and simple without Jenn, I wouldn't know Brian nor would my life be remotely like it is today. I met her shortly after moving to Cinci. We worked together for a week. She was the first person here to reach out to me, to invite me out. When I was newly single and looking for a place to live, she offered her couch. When I was lonely she started trying to set me up. I wasn't interested, but she kept him around. She gives so much of herself, that I'm amazed there's anything left.

Jessica - My parents didn't find out if they were having a boy or a girl before my sister was born. When I pestered them about it, they would reply, we just want a healthy baby. I always answered the same. I wanted a sister. Jessica was my dream come true, what I wished for, and I'm so thankful that she turned out better than my eight year old brain planned for. I made my parents pick the name Jessica; I wanted to call her Jessie. She insisted on Jess. She's always found her own way through things. No matter what someone wanted to call her, or wanted her to be, she's found the strength to find her own way, to challenge herself, to challenge others. She has the most beautiful soul full of strength, which grows every day.

My Girls. Like with the date, I told Brian these were my choices, and ordered him to work around it. Who knows who his wedding party is. Who knows if we'll have the same number or not.

Location: We recently visited a local golf course to see about having our wedding there. A family friend offered to let us use her membership pricing. And while the place was gorgeous, we quickly decided it wasn't for us. While our budget has grown slightly from my last post, I wasn't ready to spend the cash. Over Thanksgiving we approached Brian's younger brother, Ian and his fiance Aly about having our wedding at their house.

Last August, they hosted a large joint birthday party for their daughter and her cousin at their place. There was a ton of people, a petting zoo, and an ice cream truck. These people know how to throw a party. They live in the caretakers house of her father's landscaping company. It sits on a large lot, has a big field and a office/warehouse that we can use. Basically its my dream place. Picking a place at a friend/family member's house is key in the budget wedding idea.

Up next on the horizon. Formally finalize with Aly and Ian about using their house. Go there when it starts to get warmer and do some scouting.

Dress shopping! EEK! I go back and forth between short and fun or a-line, light weight garden party or a-line with a bunch of flowers on it.

Colors: I know the colors I want but not the shades.

Learning to become crafty.

 Hopefully, I'll post again before the wedding :)

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The Beginning

I grew up, like most girls, a hopeless romantic. Playing barbies and house, I would imagine my life, married, working with many many many babies. As I aged, my visions changed, life changed. I began to realize that any cookie cutter would not be my life. I also started to feel that I might not be worth the grand things that life was supposed to offer. After going through one long term relationship where I imagined us married with three kids, to one where I wasn't sure if we would ever marry; I didn't actually think I would ever really get engaged or married.

Brian and I aren't the planning type of couple. I met his brothers on our second date; we said I love you a month into the relationship. When we decided we wanted a cat, we found two we fell in love with within two weeks online. When we decided we wanted to build a house, we were under contract within a month. Recently we bought a puppy. I agreed on the night of the 11th of May that we could get one, we found and put a deposit down on our boy six days later. We tend to get great ideas, and do them immediately.

For that reason I was pretty surprised when he actually did propose. We'd been together for almost three years, and I just didn't think it was going to happen. A proposal involves planning, takes time. That's not how we roll.

So when he finally did take me to a park overlooking downtown Cincinnati and Kentucky, I was pretty damn surprised. But in our typical fashion, it stopped there. We were engaged. Step done. The fact that an entire wedding needed to be planned, and paid for, seemed just beyond our abilities.

We decided to not get married right away. I was not budging on dates. I wanted mid April or mid June; Brian could get married on a Thursday in February and not care. We were so focused on building and finishing our house, I knew that we would have no time in the summer that followed our engagement to plan. So we picked a date two years away, June 15, 2013 and I threw the idea of our wedding out of my mind.

But now May 2012 is coming to a close and my BFF's wedding is next month, and pretty soon it will be within a year of my wedding and all I have is a date and a guy.

I think I'm supposed to have more; I think I'm supposed to do more.

This is probably a good spot to point out that I am not close with my mother nor will my parents be able to help us out financially with the wedding. This is also probably a good spot to point out that I am horrible with money, and have college debt, credit debt, and well, debt.

So here we are, a little over a year out, with very little money, lost in a wedding Bermuda Triangle.

We did a little "texting" today and decided on a budget goal of $3,000.00. Will most likely be updating that in the next couple weeks as we take a more realistic look at our finances and sit down face to face, but I think that is a realistic, tight but doable and affordable number. Doing some brief internet searching today, I'm starting to realize how big of an undertaking it will be to attempt a $3000 wedding. Food and booze are just killers to budgets, so are big families and lots of friends. :) But I'm hoping that this blog will be my (our) record of how we planned our wedding, and did so without breaking the bank or my sanity.

Stay tuned....